Yes. Yes. I know you want to hear about monkeys, but I'm far superior to any monkey you're likely to encounter. Therefore, I feel it is my duty to explain the concept of feline fun.
Hmmmm. I suppose I should introduce myself first. After all, it will benefit you to know who I am. I'm called Winter Solstice Cat, the only cat with initials. I have lived for a decade with my slave. I've managed to outlast some dogs and some other humans. I am permanent. Everyone else is just temporary. People and dogs would do well to realize this.
Okay! It's time to talk about fun. I'll give examples, since I've heard humans like that sort of thing.
It's late at night, and the house is very silent. Humans and dogs are sleeping at the top of the house. I've slept most of the day, so I'm awake, but being awake and alone isn't good. I decide to amuse myself. I start with a meow. Just a normal meow, you understand. Not too soft, not too loud. I want to know if they're even aware of me. Obviously, they are not, since the house remains silent. I raise the volume, and change the meow up a bit. Now, it's one long meow, but broken up. The other human says it sounds like I'm stuttering when I do this. That shows how little she understands. This usually gets results. Humans begin to stir, but they aren't getting up. I know what to do about this. I put on my speed, and charge up the stairs. I race into the bedroom, and pounce on the slave. She tries to get rid of me, but it doesn't work. Now, I can walk around on the bed, play with the blinds, and walk on the heads of the slave and the other one. Success is mine!
I also play a really awesome game with the slave. Well, I think it's awesome. She shrieks and squeals when we play, so I'm not sure she likes it as much as I do, but who cares? She's my slave, and here for my amusement. The slave thinks cleanliness is very important. I agree with this. I'm the cleanest feline around. Anyway, she goes upstairs and removes those things she wears since she doesn't have any fur. This leaves her vulnerable. She starts to leave the bedroom, and I'm on her. I wrap my paws around her leg, and give her a little nip. She tries to get me to go away, but, of course, I do not. I follow her into the bathroom, biting all the way. She's only safe once she's behind the shower curtain. I must sit and wait for her to get out. Sometimes, I do, but, other times, I decide sleep is more rewarding.
Here's the best example of feline fun. Last year, the slave got a new partner human. I am never fond of these partner humans. They mess with the slave, and disrupt my life. This partner human was worse than the others because she had a huge dog which she dared to bring into my domain. I was most displeased. I spoke in the voice of hiss, but no one cared. This partner human wasn't very smart back then. She left her suitcase open. What's a disgruntled feline to do with an opportunity like that? Well, in case you can't figure it out, I'll enlighten you. I used the suitcase instead of my litter box. The human didn't know about it until much later. She carried my gift home with her. I was very pleased with myself.
So, humans, these are just a few examples of how one feline enjoys herself. There are many more, but a cat must keep some things a secret.
Courtesy of my fabulous feline, this is my entry for
I hope you enjoy reading this. I always enjoy writing from her perspective.