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solstice_singer

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LJIdol: Week 12 [Jun. 19th, 2014|02:06 pm]
solstice_singer
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[Current Mood |amusedamused]

Yes. Yes. I know you want to hear about monkeys, but I'm far superior to any monkey you're likely to encounter. Therefore, I feel it is my duty to explain the concept of feline fun.

Hmmmm. I suppose I should introduce myself first. After all, it will benefit you to know who I am. I'm called Winter Solstice Cat, the only cat with initials. I have lived for a decade with my slave. I've managed to outlast some dogs and some other humans. I am permanent. Everyone else is just temporary. People and dogs would do well to realize this.

Okay! It's time to talk about fun. I'll give examples, since I've heard humans like that sort of thing.

It's late at night, and the house is very silent. Humans and dogs are sleeping at the top of the house. I've slept most of the day, so I'm awake, but being awake and alone isn't good. I decide to amuse myself. I start with a meow. Just a normal meow, you understand. Not too soft, not too loud. I want to know if they're even aware of me. Obviously, they are not, since the house remains silent. I raise the volume, and change the meow up a bit. Now, it's one long meow, but broken up. The other human says it sounds like I'm stuttering when I do this. That shows how little she understands. This usually gets results. Humans begin to stir, but they aren't getting up. I know what to do about this. I put on my speed, and charge up the stairs. I race into the bedroom, and pounce on the slave. She tries to get rid of me, but it doesn't work. Now, I can walk around on the bed, play with the blinds, and walk on the heads of the slave and the other one. Success is mine!

I also play a really awesome game with the slave. Well, I think it's awesome. She shrieks and squeals when we play, so I'm not sure she likes it as much as I do, but who cares? She's my slave, and here for my amusement. The slave thinks cleanliness is very important. I agree with this. I'm the cleanest feline around. Anyway, she goes upstairs and removes those things she wears since she doesn't have any fur. This leaves her vulnerable. She starts to leave the bedroom, and I'm on her. I wrap my paws around her leg, and give her a little nip. She tries to get me to go away, but, of course, I do not. I follow her into the bathroom, biting all the way. She's only safe once she's behind the shower curtain. I must sit and wait for her to get out. Sometimes, I do, but, other times, I decide sleep is more rewarding.

Here's the best example of feline fun. Last year, the slave got a new partner human. I am never fond of these partner humans. They mess with the slave, and disrupt my life. This partner human was worse than the others because she had a huge dog which she dared to bring into my domain. I was most displeased. I spoke in the voice of hiss, but no one cared. This partner human wasn't very smart back then. She left her suitcase open. What's a disgruntled feline to do with an opportunity like that? Well, in case you can't figure it out, I'll enlighten you. I used the suitcase instead of my litter box. The human didn't know about it until much later. She carried my gift home with her. I was very pleased with myself.

So, humans, these are just a few examples of how one feline enjoys herself. There are many more, but a cat must keep some things a secret.


Courtesy of my fabulous feline, this is my entry for
therealljidol
I hope you enjoy reading this. I always enjoy writing from her perspective.

LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: kehlen
2014-06-19 07:30 pm (UTC)
Nice.

The other day we were taking our dog to the vet, and a kitty was talking in a carrier of another woman on the bus. Just talking, not complaining, or being indignant. It was like "Hello, I am there. Pay attention to me". Very amusing.
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[User Picture]From: kehlen
2014-06-19 07:31 pm (UTC)
Not sure I'd like a slavemaster like that though. :-) Dogs are nice, even if they are all sneaks and love testing boundaries.
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From: solstice_singer
2014-06-21 03:05 am (UTC)
I hate the vet. I speak in the voice of hiss whenever the slave forces me to visit that dreadful place. I've never been on a bus, but I don't think I'd like it.
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From: catwomon
2014-06-19 09:47 pm (UTC)
She may have been pleased with herself, but I was not! As the partner human she refers to, I did not appreciate what awaited me when I got back to Louisville and opened my luggage. She has taught me how to be much wiser.
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From: solstice_singer
2014-06-21 03:07 am (UTC)
Wisdom is something you needed to learn, Human. In fact, there are some areas in which your wisdom is sorely lacking. Don't worry though. I'll take great pleasure in educating you.
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From: faerie_spark
2014-06-20 02:43 pm (UTC)
Hello There Winter Solstice Cat,

It sounds like you no longer receive a "little toss" when you disturb your slave at night. If the slave and the partner-human move, maybe they should make sure that their new sleeping spot is one that you can be safely tossed from without threat of injury to your felineness.

Also, at least this partner-human doesn't kiss you on the nose.

Thank you for sharing your brand of fun with all of us.

Yes, I do still remember your teeth.
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From: solstice_singer
2014-06-21 03:09 am (UTC)
I'm glad you remember my teeth. They are very white and very pointy. They can cause quite a bit of damage if I wish them to.

I never approved of the "little toss". I like this house because tossing is not possible.
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[User Picture]From: halfshellvenus
2014-06-21 12:37 am (UTC)
Was this truly a new partner-human, or a visiting guest?

Regardless, I enjoyed the cat POV (ours have always been much kinder than this!), and the concept of "the voice of hiss."
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From: solstice_singer
2014-06-21 03:13 am (UTC)
It definitely was a new partner human. In fact, the slave still has this one. The dogs are still here too. This vexes me.

The slave says many humans are fond of the "voice of hiss". The partner human says the slave speaks in the void of human hiss when she is angry. This proves how much the slave wishes she could be like me.

I'm not a nice cat. My mother abandoned me when I was very small. The slave has had me ever since. She says I'm a little bit feral. I say I like what I like and hate what I hate.
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[User Picture]From: kagomeshuko
2014-06-21 01:59 am (UTC)
I'm not really a cat person, although I usually enjoy other people's cats.

I'm a dog person and we have three at our house. Two of whom seem to think they are part cat. Woofles will "knead" at my chest. Krueger will rub up against my legs like a cat.
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From: solstice_singer
2014-06-21 03:15 am (UTC)
Not a cat person? Disgraceful! How can you prefer slobbering dogs over feline grace and beauty? Oh well. I'm glad you read about my fun. My slave thanks you.
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[User Picture]From: kagomeshuko
2014-06-21 05:01 am (UTC)
I was raised with a dog may be part of the answer. i just love dogs, though. I love the slobber, the kisses, the cuddles . . .
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From: soprano1790
2014-06-21 03:51 am (UTC)
I enjoyed this very much. "the voice of hiss" is my favorite. Lol Cats are crazy monsters indeed.
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[User Picture]From: eternal_ot
2014-06-21 02:09 pm (UTC)
LOL..nice to read a cat's POV for a change this week...it works for your benefit..;)..enjoyed this very much..*giggles*
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[User Picture]From: roina_arwen
2014-06-21 09:10 pm (UTC)
I have five feline overlords. I have learned to hear and obey. ;)
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[User Picture]From: tonithegreat
2014-06-23 04:59 am (UTC)
Oh dear! Sounds like you, kitty cat, know how to communicate!
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From: uncawes
2014-06-23 09:53 am (UTC)
Winter Solstice Cat, you can follow your slave behind the shower curtain. You just have to deal with the water if you choose that path.
Think like a tiger, BE a tiger, and the water will not bother you as you stalk your prey
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[User Picture]From: hosticle_fifer
2014-06-24 03:32 am (UTC)
LOL. My old cat used to get mad and pee in my shoes. They all operate from the same playbook, don't they? :)
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[User Picture]From: the_dark_snack
2014-07-04 02:42 pm (UTC)
Happy Birthday!
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